Bored

Yeah, you guessed it. Today was a boring day. I would have been posting this blog like four hours ago, but I wanted to post after dinner. Whatever. I had dinner and it was gross. The macaroni and cheese was okay, because it’s Kraft, but the chicken was undercooked.

Haven’t talked to Justin yet. But yesterday he had gotten on once he got off from work, but quickly went back to “Away” and I had to smirk. I figure he’s still mad at me. However, I did send him an apology note last night, for having called him an asshole. I still believe he was one, but at least I said sorry. He doesn’t know I didn’t mean it.

This morning, or this afternoon I should say, I woke up and felt dead. I went to bed at 1 and woke up at 12:30, but I felt absolutely horrible. A shower helped a little, it’s the rest of the day where I just bummed that got me awake. I’m still tired now, I just don’t feel as beat this morning. As long as I’m not expected to go out or something tonight, I’ll be good. Not that I’d be expected to anyway…lol.

I got a new bed today. It was supposed to be full, but when I put it in my room I noticed it was bigger than my brother’s bed, which is a full. So I had him measure the widths and it turns out I was right, it is bigger. Of course my parents didn’t believe me at first when they got home, so they had to measure for themselves. But it turns out I now have a queen. Which is cool…and it doesn’t take up too much of my room, which is also cool. I’d probably be pissed if it turned out to be too big. Not because I wouldn’t be able to have a queen, but because I’d have no room.

All my stuff is still in boxes though, so that sucks. I need organizational stuff though. I have hardly anything, whereas I lost a desk, two closets, and my brother stole one of my stands. Ugh.

Oh, as I end this now, Justin signs off. Without talking to me.

What’s In The Future?

What’s In The Future?
If we talk again,
I wonder what you’ll say to me,
If you’ll say sorry times ten,
Or if it’ll be just one simple apology.

It’d be nice,
If you could tell me what you’re feeling,
Instead of thinking “I’m sorry” could suffice,
And then we might be healing.

If you keep up the ignorance,
You just may find something you didn’t want,
A great big hindrance,
And my ghost will be there to haunt.

So keep it up,
And I wish you good luck,
Because I admit while I may have fucked up,
I’m not so low to say you suck.

Jerk

Jerk
You call me late at night,
I try to be nice,
But you start a fight,
It’s like your heart turned to ice.

In a matter of two minutes,
You’ve become this whole other person,
I like talking to you, but not like this,
You act like you have a curse on.

I try to calm you down,
But there’s no use,
I feel like a clown,
With your words of abuse.

You then call me names of endearment,
And I have to smirk,
It’s not like the past has went,
What makes you think I’d fall for that, you jerk?

I Can’t Breathe

I Can’t Breathe
I’ve never witnessed a pain so fresh, so harsh.
It’s like my heart was taken and squeezed.
And then my whole chest was squeezed, until I could hardly breathe.

I can’t wait to take a deep breath.
A deep breath would set me free.
I need that…if only to be free.

I opened my heart to him, you know.
I put my heart on the line, this one time.
He gave me back the rind.